Weakness pretty much sums up how things are going, and in more ways than one. This grief is hard. In the middle of the night last night, I broke down. I know it’s hard on Prince Charming too. We are walking this road that is so incredibly difficult, and I just feel weak. The headaches are still coming and going, and I’m so thankful for the hours they are gone. When they return, I pretty much have to wait it out. For the most part I just lay in my bed in my room as I recover, but last night I went to the couch for our family Bible time.
Today, I was able to be on the couch for most of the day. My spirits were lifted immensely. I’m thinking I may have turned the corner and am FINALLY starting to see some marked improvement in my body’s healing process.
This morning, I laid in the arms of my husband once again, and even though everything we are going through is tough, we are together and we have the Lord.
I’m always amazed at how God works in our hearts and lives. I was researching tips to recover physically online. I came across a wonderful blog of a lady who miscarried twins. Her blog was such an encouragement for me. After reading most of the posts, I learned she was a homeschooling mom, and her and her husband travel the world speaking and encouraging families. They also have a podcast, and some sessions available for purchase on their website. Yesterday, Prince Charming and I listened together to a couple of the sessions and were so encouraged as they spoke on the blessing of children. They have experienced loss, they have experienced significant difficulties in pregnancy. And though, I have no idea what God has in store for our future…He has given my husband and I a hope that can only come from Him in the midst of this grief and loss. We will share eternity with our two babies in heaven! I was so thankful God lead me to her site, and not only was I encouraged with tips for my physical health, I was much more encouraged in my faith and parenting.
Since I am not able to be up and about much, I am taking the opportunity to do some reading. There was a Scripture I was reading last night that I shared with Prince Charming after reading it.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
We chatted for quite awhile about this verse. Before we lost our baby, we have been working really hard to accomplish some family goals. They aren’t small ones by any means, and I wondered the day I was in the hospital if these goals would either be solidified or change entirely. I asked Prince Charming how he viewed our goals in light of this verse. He and I both agreed God was giving us confirmation the steps we’ve been taking, and will continue to take, are in accordance with His will. I look forward to sharing more about these things in the future.
May God be glorified in all the not so average mamas/ladies today!